Sesat
Kehilangan
Kekeliruan
Bingung

mengapa ini semua terjadi?
di saat aku sangat memerlukan mu.
kau kabur.
di saat aku inginkan cinta yang hakiki
kau menghilangkan diri.
di saat aku jatuh
kau tinggalkan diri ini.

aku, kau biarkan,
tergapai di atas gelombang kehidupan yang
sentiasa kejam.

apa yang ku ingain kan daripada insan yang
serba kekurangan sperti diriku?

apabila kau datang ke dalam hidupku.
kau minta seluruh cintaku.
aku mengorbankan jiwa,raga and hatiku padamu.
hanya dikembalikan dengan kekecewaan dan keperitan.

kau datang kembali.
apabila hatiku telah ku ubati.
berjuta janji kau bisikkan.
tak terkira kasih sayang yang kau curah.
aku mula mempercayai niatmu.
sekali lagi.
aku berikan seluruh jiwa,raga dan cintaku.
tanpa aku sedari.
aku bakal terjumpa kepedihan dan kesedihan,
buat kali kedua.

kau keluar dari hatiku.
keluar dari ikatan cinta yang telah terikat.
tapi kau berjanji.
kau akan tetap berada di hatiku.
jiwaku.
MEMORI INDAH ku.

aku, lemah.
aku, daif.
aku, khilaf.

tidak bisa menempuhi liku-liku
hidup yang kejam sendirian.
tanpamu disisiku.

aku tidak bisa.
aku lemah.

aku sudah terbiasa...

um.
a few days ago i have a conversation with Marteeeeee. ;D
she was sweet.
she said things i heard before from him.

"when the time comes, you have to let go."
'but it hurts alot.'
"then you have to learn"
'what if i failed to get over it?'
"he is yr only love isnt he?"
'of course'
"then leave him."
'what? no. im so broken'
"if you love someone,let them go. if they come back, then. they're yours"
'if not?'
"move on,slowly."
'is it so?'
"trust me,babe. dont hurt yourself. i hate seeing you like this."

im going to start trying then.

im tireddddd.
i just came back from NPCC.
haha,like people wanna know.

i cried alot today.
tears of joy.
tears of real misery.
tears of dissapointment.

im getting real real sensitive these days.
and i dont like it.
because its so NOT me. D:

ohhhh!
before i forget.
THANKS ALOT! fr those people who took the trouble to buy gifts for me during this Valentines'
its so thoughtful of you.
you people are lovedddd! ;D

im gonna make something fr you guys.
well,maybe.
IF i feel like it. ;D
oke,i will.
if im not lazyyyy.

i got selected for SI interview.
its Station Inspector b t w.
a rank higher than Staff Sargent.
but have to go fr interview.
and i dont know when.
and Mdm Ng says something about taking out one of the sec 4s.
to be replaced by me i guess.
and i feel so super guilty.
as much as i want this rank so much(like a dream come true) i dont want to dissapoint people. and having to walk around with the feeling of guilt.
i dont like it.
somehow,its a reason why i cried.
i just dont know why.
JOY? because i used to keep this 'wish' in me fr so long and no one knows i want
this rank and now its coming true.
or GUILT or saddddd or i d k.
its just that suddenly its not a really good news to me.
w t h?
uhhhhh!

y'know.
im loving maths now!
like very very very muchh.
because i THINK mrs neo can teach quite well.
its just a matter if you want to listen to her and practise and do th homeworks
and ask her questions.
seriously.
all teachers are good.
its just a matter of th student.
i guess(?)
haha ;D

im coping quite well in school.
yeaaaa, i realised.
i have not yet slept in class since beginning of th year. ;D
and thats IS VERY GOOD progresss.
and im proud of myselffff. ;D

ohhhhh.
i got DATES tmr for Valentines'
shoot. i just realised.
today is Friday the 13th. ;D
slowww nyaaaaaaaaaa!

SO!

HAPPY FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH!
HAPPY VALETINES DAY! (in advance)
HAPPY TOTAL DEFENCE DAY! (in advance)

ohhh.
and Mr. Shawal says, total defence day is a day to commemorate.
not celebrate ;D
haha.
still cant see any differences. D:

dang!
it really hurts.